I’m just gonna be honest here, I am struggling right now. Not with my usual eating disorder, although it’s reared it’s ugly head enough. I wish it was my eating disorder. I at least I know how to write about it. How to process that. But this isn’t as easy. I don’t know what to do with this.

I’m swimming in a pool of parenting indecision. I have no idea what the right thing to do here. Jacob is making adult decisions with out the benefit of adult brains, knowledge or experience. We’ve all be there. We all did it to some degree or another. That’s how we pass from childhood into adulthood. We all survived right? Please tell me we all survived.

There are a world of decisions that must be made because Jacob has decided that this is the way his life should go. I can lead, follow or get out of the way. There are consequences to each of those decisions and I just don’t know the best path to choose. Do I throw my values to wind and jump in and help, or just let the kid sink or swim? I realize of course, that there is no right answer here. I will make a decision and we will all get through this. There will be consequences no matter what, but we will get through them. This too shall pass, and then some other shit will start up and I won’t even remember why I stressed over this so.

But stress is where I sit. And where I will sit until I make the decision and we all live with it. Until the next drama. Until I finally make that parenting crystal ball.