Me (upon returning to bed at 2 am because I can’t sleep): “Now if you’re done, can I get some sleep?

Jeff (muttering): “Hun, what?!”

Me: “Nothing, honey, go back to sleep.”

Jeff (continuing to mutter): “What? No! Hun?”

Me (Starting to feel really guilty for waking up my perfectly wonderful husband just because I can’t sleep)

Jeff: “No! My wife will get mad!”

Me (Blink. Blink. Blink.): “What?”

Jeff (pulling me on top of him and grinning): “Maybe just one more time before she gets back.”

Me: Damn it.