Right now my heart is shredding in my chest. In time, I will understand that this too shall pass and then some other shit will start up. But right now I can’t focus on that, the pain is too intense. It is becoming clearer and clearer that it is no longer a question of if things will be too much, but only when. This saddens me. I had hoped to hang on until I was licensed and then take an extended break. But right now that seems damn near impossible. I hate letting people down.
I went to the store in search of comfort food, only to find the pop tart aisle empty. Hell, all the aisles are bare in preparation for Gustav, but did they really have to clear out the brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts? I cried in the cereal aisle of Wal-Mart, clutching my diet Dr. Pepper.
It wasn’t pretty.
So I have no idea when the breaking point will come, just that it will. Right now I am forced to sit and concentrating on holding my heart together in my chest. Tomorrow I will figure out that this is all going to be okay. Right now I just want a damn pop tart.
Hey, you are way too hard on yourself. Things get to be too much for everyone sometimes. What makes you think you were the special one who would never get overwhelmed. Give yourself a couple of days to process. You’re probably just freaking out cuz of all the freaking electricity in the air from Gustav. You’re like a cat. And it IS upsetting when people take all the damn pop-tarts. Hugs.
I got pop tarts! You just come out here and get one, and a hug while you are at it. We all have days like this, sometimes more than others. I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately myself. Thank goodness there were poptarts on my isle or else you wouldn’t have been the only one crying on isle 4. Take care girl!
Holy shit! Thanks everyone for all the really sweet comments and stuff, both in and out of this here intraweb. I’m now rolling in pop tarts and other sweets, both eatable and literary.