I think it’s about time I introduced you to the cast of characters:

I’ll start with the youngest first:
Emie, AKA the Divine Miss Em
I’m cute and I get what I want!
Jack, the golden child
Who me? No not me, really, would I do that? No it must have been the dog.
Jacob, the teen-ager
I am so full of teen aged angst, I must mope around in dark baggy clothes and how dare you make me where light blue and be in a family photo, you have ruined my life!
Jeff, the dad
I know everything, unfortunately he usually does, damn it!
Me, the quirky mom
I know everything, unfortunately I usually don’t, damn it!