Apparently eight is French for two birthdays. Or Mormon, but what ever.

In my struggle to pull this whole thing off, I had an epiphany this morning. I, (Erika Lynn Rebstock) will make cupcakes for Jack’s friend birthday tonight, since I have already ordered and spent $30 on his baptism/family birthday party cake. Brilliant right? Especially since I bought a $20 cupcake book from the cherub’s book fair last fall. This is perfect. I can be that mom and save some money. The only problem with all this is that I certainly not that mom.

Should I mention here that I have never made cupcakes in my life?

I pick out a not too complicated design from the book and head to the grocery store with my precious list. I figure that I should buy the boxed mix, you know, so it’s not too hard and to save time, and the icing too of course. A few M & M’s here, some icing tips there. I proceed to spend $45 on supplies for 24 cupcakes and movie rental (because that’s the kind or iron focus I posses.) After officially scratching, ‘save money’ off the list, I commence baking. Oh wait, you need eggs to bake a cake? Who knew? Load up class, we’re headed back to the grocery store.

More money, more money, more money.

Okay, now two hours into the day, let’s get started baking. I’m mixing, I’m mixing, I’m mixing. It takes me longer to find the mixer than to actually mix, but let’s not dwell. Next we pour the batter into the tiny little paper cups. Even I know not to spill, that that will make ugly bug cup cakes, and frankly pretty is all we have left here people after throwing ‘save money’ out the window. Of course I spill, and then put them in the oven to bake 18 to 22 minutes. Don’t even get me started on the time range. Why can’t they just give me a time? No, I don’t want to hear your speech on oven differences and the minute chemistry of baking.

While the cup cakes are doing their magic in the oven, I call the Hero Race Car Driver and Jeff to tell them they are related to an idiot. The former one had influence in shaping me into the idiot I am today and the latter joined in after the fact by choice. Not sure who’s worse.

They’re out! The tooth pick is mostly clean, that’s good enough right? This is so exciting. What’s next? Oh yeah, now we wait. Twenty minutes before we remove them from the pan then eleventy hundred hours til completely cool so that we can ice. This is perfect for someone with ADHD. Admit it, at this point you all are betting I wander off, find something shiny (like a movie) and never come back.

HA! I remembered when the cherubs got home from school. Let the icing and M & M campaign begin. With the cherub’s help. This should go much better now, right? We ice. We make bugs. We laugh, we make memories. Oh wait, that’s Martha. I managed not to kill the cherubs and to show you the finished product.

This concludes: How Not to Make Bug Cup Cakes: A Blog Tutorial with Pictures. Stayed tuned for the Eight is Great Birthday Letter. Maybe that’ll work out better, but probably not.