While I do realize that you in fact know everything, it would be greatly appreciate if you would kindly stop asking me questions, then telling me that my answer is wrong. In addition, but equally entertaining for me is your innate inability to do anything other that what you want to, without full on tantrum hysterics. (Yea!) But this needs to stop ASAP, as it interferes with, well, everything.

I understand that you feel you are now old enough to get a job, drive a car and buy a house, and that I am only holding you back from living the fulfilled life you were meant too. I can also appreciate how frustrating this must be for you, but I would respectfully ask that you hang in there, as I remain legally responsible for you at this time dear seven and a half.

While I will of course continue to work with you in your desire to snatch full independence from my tight-fisted grasp, I will need you to work with me too. I feel that with open dialog, time and patience on both our parts, we will make it through this trying time, (or at least to eight) without major incident and minimum family therapy sessions. Your immediate attention to this matter would be taken as a show of good faith on your part and lend greatly to restoring harmony here at DRY Ink.

Sincerely,
The Management
DRY Ink Headquarters