I’m having an uber blissful morning on the beach. All the cherubs have abandoned the surf due to an abundance of jelly fish, leaving me alone to the crashing of the waves. I almost feel sorry for the adults left back at the full beach house. Almost. But alone, I am able to indulge in all sorts of wanton behaviors, such as losing myself in Things I learned about my dad, (in therapy), first purchased as a Father’s Day gift for the hero race car driver, then abandoned once I decided it was probably to racy for him, and next passed off as an after thought to Jeff for Father’s Day, which I promptly stole back. I make a mental note to do better for that poor man on his birthday in August.

As I read the essays I can’t help but be moved by the sometimes poignant, but mostly funny tales of fatherhood. Naturally my thoughts drift to my own. I make another mental note to call him when I come back up to the house and tell him that I want him to come up. He’s been saying he might wander by the beach house this year. Such is the life of the retired hero race car driver, but I really want him to stop by, for few days at least. All bonding with my father has taken place on vacations. My father has always been a traveler and since my parents divorce, I have usually been the recipient of trips with dad, especially family trips, even now in my mid 30’s. They divorced when I was seven years old, although the separation took place years before that, so this is a long standing ritual. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Dads and little girls have always shared a special relationship, and it’s not just me. I see the same thing in Emie’s eyes when she looks at Jeff. She thinks he can do anything. There is complete trust when she peddles as he runs along holding onto her bike. I doubt she’ll out grow it either. Maybe its a family curse.

Once, I got in trouble with Jeff because of my blind faith in my father. Somewhere in our first year of marriage, I totaled my Ford Tempo in Lafayette, LA.
I called my dad.
It did not go over well, but in my defense, Jeff was in the middle of a final. We worked through it and that was the first of many lessons I’ve had to learn about balance. I guess I am continuing, even now, to learn them, as I really wish dad was here with me right now, because retired or not, he’ll always be a hero to me.