While traveling down a certain some what busy road on my way to work yesterday, a loverly lady in the right lane next to me decided she needed to be in my lane. I was reaching into my purse on the passenger front seat for gum, but luckily I was raised right by the hero race car driver and I was able to narrowly avoid waiting for the tow truck in the middle of the road with my crunched SUV.

So, I’m driving down said road when I began to enter her blind spot, (about two thirds of the way behind her shiny silver SUV). This is where she decides she would like to have my lane for her very own. As there are multiple cars in the turning lane to my left, I am forced to remove my hand from my purse, (sans gum), and begin to execute evasive maneuvers.

At this point, I immediately stomp on the breaks and turn the wheel to the right, (contrary to common thought), forcing my vehicle to veer, towards her SUV, while laying on the horn with my now free hand, (still gum free, unfortunately). This allowed my truck to swing around behind her rear bumper and leaves me sitting perpendicular in the road and to on coming traffic. I then floor the accelerator and jerk the wheel back to the left, allowing me to proceed parallel back into my original lane and there by narrowly missing being t-boned by the on coming sub compact. (Yeah, like that would have been pretty.) It’s also worth mentioning that this entire incident took place in less than thirty seconds, and that she simply drove off after this. Not that I’m bitter.

Of course I promptly called the hero race car driver and thanked him for forcing me to spend all that time learning defensive driving techniques, thus fulfilling his life long threats of ‘some day you’ll thank me for this.’

Damn it.

Then I called Jeff to brag about saving my own life, at which point he stated that that was nice. “Nice? Nice is all I get?” “Yes, Erika, we all know you can drive. Really, I’d be more impressed if you actually did get into a wreck.” I’m freaking Mario Andretti and that’s all I get? Sigh. See if I call you to brag about my amazing driving skills next time. That’ll teach him.