While watching The Italian Job, last night?

I feel deprived.

You feel deprived?

Yes, I never had a dad to teach me a cool skill like safe cracking so that an elite team of ne’re-do-wells will come looking for me and whisk me off to foreign country to preform my mad skilz.

[Rolling his eyes] Right. Your dad just taught you to drive and fix motorcycles and remodel houses down to electrical and plumbing. I don’t know how you’ve survived such a loser.