Looky Daddy’s recent dip into the seizure pool has really hit home for me. Most of you know that Jacob was diagnosed with petit mals seizures in 1st grade and had his first grand mal in 6th. Even after the diagnosis, it was almost a year before he actually had a seizure in front of me, (he was just nice enough to save them for others).
This post brought that first experience of attempting to hold a child close to my size, who convulsed and contorted in my arms, while my 1 year was shut in a car in the driveway and my 2 year watched wide eyed. Let’s just say not my bravest moment. I screamed my head off.
I’ve come a very long way since then. Now, they hardly phase me. I’ve had lots of opportunity to adjust while we found medication that actually worked to control both seizures. The grand mals are under control now. It’s been almost a year. I don’t know if he will ever be able to drive, but I do know that if a grand mal ever happens again, I can handle it, (better than he is handling looking at 17 without a license.) I am finally completely at peace with his disease, I hope that one day everyone with an epileptic child will find that too.
I pray that one day he will understand how completely I love him.
Some day he will get it, part of me feels that he already does- even if you don’t see it.
My Baby Brother has seizures that are currently uncontrolled–they’ve been tinkering with his meds for it seems like years now. Looked at surgery but he wasn’t a good candidate because the scar tissue they believe is causing them is too small and inaccesible to risk it. It’s funny about the at peace thing–even though he’s not my child, I’ve been there for lots and lots of seizures and you do come to a point where you realize it’s just the way it is.
And Jacob knowing how much you love him? I think it’s something they get at a deep level even when they don’t consciously seem aware of it.
Testing. Heard an ugly rumor that some can’t comment, it’s all lies I tell you, lies.
I can pull it up now. Yay! (I still can’t from my computer but it’s fine on the laptop. So…Problem on my end not yours!)
My sister has epilepsy. Well, she has a “Seizure” disorder. It isn’t true epilepsy. She has brain damage and it caused very erratic behavior all her life. It has gotten very, very bad. It isn’t well controlled with meds any more (Unlike most forms of epilepsy). She had an implant surgically put in that shocks her and prevents a lot of her seizures. It has really helped (AND helped her depression. They said that makes sense since it is a mild form of shock therapy in a way.
These seizures of hers started and incoherent babble and rapid eye movement and progressed to huge, grand mals. I am very used to them but it scares people to death. I’ve learned if I just stay calm, so will they.
MM is right…It’s just the way it is.