Boy I’ve been on a letter kick lately. But, this is for you Jeff. Why? because you deserve it. Why didn’t I do this back at Father’s Day? Well I think we all know why, because I’m a dumb ass. That established, (like it hasn’t already been.) Let get this thing started.Jeff,
I do not have the words to express what you mean to me, what you have done for me. No matter what is wrong in my life you have the uncanny ability to make it all better. It is like nothing I have ever experience to live in your life, to live my life with you in it. Now that I have experienced it, I could not live any other way.
When Jacob acts like Jacob, you’re there to smooth things out. When I have had enough of your children, you always step in right before I lose it. When I think I’m a failure as a counselor, or haven’t helped enough, you show me the reality that small steps complete the journey. Even now, as I sit typing in the office, you have no idea why, but you put the kids to bed. Whether in word or action, you are always willing to drop what ever your doing to make my life a little better, a little easier.
When I was in grad school and one of my first clients attempted suicide, who was there for me? We weren’t even dating, but a phone call and there you were with the Oreo cookies. Eight years latter, nothing has changed. You worked two jobs while I was pregnant so I didn’t have to work. You stayed up late with the babies, so I could get some sleep. You come home from a long day and make dinner. You have moved mountains all in the name of my happiness. You’ve never asked anything from me but to love you.
What I did to deserve you I will never understand. God has not smiled on me much in my life. It has always been a fight, but you are the one bright spot. The one I can always count on. I never have to question it, you’ll be there. I know you love me, and you will always protect me, your children and Jacob.
You made my life make sense. You made Jacob and me a family, your family. I always thought I was fine before. I had always over come adversity. There was nothing I couldn’t handle, and I have proved that. What I didn’t know, what was missing, is that I didn’t have too. Everything doesn’t have to be a fight, with someone you trust by your side. That’s been a hard lesson for me to learn, how to let go, how to trust. But I have. I finally understand what it means to love unconditionally, and be loved. I understand what family means. You taught me that.
I am a better person because of you. I am a better mother to your children. No matter where I go in this world, I know I have a safe place waiting for me. With you there is nothing I can not accomplish. I hope you know all this. I hope you aren’t hearing this for the first time. If you are then I have failed you, and I vow to better. I hope and pray that I have provided you with even a small portion of peace in your life, that you have given me.
Thank you Jeff for making all the bad things in my life go away. You have taught me how to love, how to live, and for that I will always love you.
Erika